Clarity Overcomes Fear

I was sitting in front of my house the other day, when two young neighborhood kids rolled by on their scooters. They were talking about playing street hockey when suddenly the more talkative boy stopped moving, turned to the other and asked, “is there someone else that you like more than me?”. The questioning boy stared impatiently, waiting for a reply, while the other boy just shrugged and started to scoot away. I thought about why a comparison was so important to that kid. It made me question my own insecurities and my own need for validation.

Insecurity is a perfect example of a side effect that stems from an inner imbalance. It is a result of fear. When you really step back and think about it, fear is just our minds asking the question "what if?". All fears are self-constructed and we do so because we are constantly trying to validate ourselves and understand our place in the world.

I can recall a moment in a recent conversation with someone, where a friendly sentiment was said to me and it resulted in the other person fearing that they had said something wrong. I have second guessed my words and actions countless times before but it was interesting for me to see this from the flip side. I questioned whether I had given this person a reason to be scared of my reaction (funny how easily you can see fear spread). What could my worst reaction really be? Does it outweigh what my possible best reaction could have been?

After a moment of contemplation, I saw the sentiment for what it was. It was a sign of friendship. It was a form of positive expression. I think that sometimes we just say things because it is a part of us. Not everything in life has to be read into so deeply. I think that the only way to truly communicate something important is to just go ahead and be explicit. Confusion can be resolved by communication. So we should have no fear if we know the right questions.

As for the kids outside, sometimes people just don’t connect. We are human. There is a time and place for everything and sometimes we cannot seize the proper opportunities to make things work. 

I try to live life with no sense of real fear. There are times when it seems impossible, but everything can always be broken down into solvable problems. Keep your mind and heart open and true validation will blossom from within.