I thought about being single today. I remember a time where I was terrified to be alone because I wasn't sure if I could survive on my own. I was afraid of being lonely and possibly never finding someone new again. I look at things in a different light these days. A much more hopeful and goal oriented approach.
I no longer see relationships as an investment. I think when people look at it from that perspective, it makes relationships become quantitative. Regardless of how any relationship ends up, I think they should just be appreciated for what they are during the present time. No one can predict the future and no one be certain that tomorrow will be the same as today.
That being said, I do indeed want to grow old with someone. The difference in my approach is that I do not NEED to grow old with someone. I do not want to “obtain” a partner or feel like they “belong” to me. I want to share my time with someone, not give it away.
Truthfully, I actually do have the perfect idea of a person in mind. This person will be empowered, social, kindhearted, and independent. This person will challenge me to do things that I wouldn't normally do and enjoy the journey with me. This person will terrify me and make me feel brave all at the exact same time.
I currently feel unworthy of such a person today. It is part of the reason I strive to become a better person.
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I wrote this article originally on 06/13/2013. I never felt right about posting it on my blog back then but I feel like it is more appropriate now for some reason.
I haven’t been writing regularly because I’ve been experiencing a sort of writer’s block. Inspiration is nearby and I will have something valuable to write about soon!
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